Finding Hope in the Darkness of 2020.

It seems I have somewhat of a knack for returning to the blog after half of a year of being on an unintentional hiatus. Life happened. Well rather, 2020 happened.

At the end of 2019 and at the beginning of 2020, I felt organized, fulfilled, and hopeful for the year to come. I had finally found my footing as a supervisor in my job, returned back to school to complete my masters, and had curated a schedule for dedicating time for the blog.

And then suddenly, I lost my sense of balance. The scales became to tip heavily toward work, then tipped drastically in the other direction toward school, and left no room for the blog or other various hobbies. Then, as if the tides weren’t already dangerously high, COVID19 happened and all hell broke loose.

As I, and as many others, have attempted to navigate through these uncertain times, I began to wonder if my life would ever regain the balance it once had. These times of uncertainty come to me in waves of inconsistencies. Some days I am hopeful for the future, as sometimes we have to wait for the storm to pass to see the rainbow. However, other days, I feel like it will continue to rain forever and we will never see the sun as it once was.

In my home state of Georgia, where we are not only dealing with 60,000 new COVID19 cases daily, we are also dealing will internal political divide, and are seeing firsthand, the beginning stages on the war on race and culture. I, like so many others, am living in a constant state of fear. The kind of fear that makes you think: if the virus doesnt get a hold of me first, the violence surely will.

It is amazing to think how much can change within a matter of six months. I came into 2020 hopeful. But I fear 2020 will only leave me broken. However, for our millennial generation, this fear is nothing new. In fact, it may be all we have ever known; from terrorist attacks, decades of war, and steady lows in our economy, fear has been a constant companion.

We are suppose to be the generation of hope and change, so why do I feel like we will be the generation that will suffer the most? From financial depts and unemployment increases, to bachelors degree that amount to practically nothing. From political crises and a constant state of distrust, to a plea for change in how we treat one another and to how we treat our planet.

This generation, along with the next, are tired. Frustrated and tired. Pleading for change; for love and unison, over hatred and division. I see other countries, even other states, that have worked in unison and have accomplished what seems impossible for the greater good. Sadly, that isnt the case for some countries and even for states, such as Georgia.

Instead of leading the people with hope, security, and a sense of togetherness, we are left to fend for ourselves and handle it independently. In fact, we are expected to all think in unison to one another. I wear my mask to protect others, while sadly others dont appear to believe that I deserve the same protection. Instead this pandemic is blown over and not taken seriously by some. The pandemic for the virus is as divided as the pandemic on racial equality.

In a time of uncertainty, hopelessness, and chaos, our leadership continues to fail us. It’s been made clear, we only have each other to count on to make the change. So while today may seem like the storm will never pass, know that together we will always seek out the rainbow.




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